body-centered psychotherapy Archives - Francine Kelley, LCPC, SEP, RYT500

I laugh on my yoga mat. (Really, I do!)

Do not kill the instinct of the body for the glory of the pose. Do not look at your body like a stranger but adopt a friendly approach towards it. Watch it, listen to it, observe its needs, its requests, and even have fun. To be sensitive is to be alive…

To twist, stretch, and move around, is pleasant and enjoyable, a body holiday.

There is an unexpected delight in meeting earth and sky at the same moment!

-Vanda Scaravelli in Awakening the Spine

My last post described yoga as a feeling practice. When I read this quote by Vanda Scaravelli many years ago it resonated deeply, and I began to explore the idea of the practice being “an unexpected delight.” The result is that my yoga mat has become a really fun place to be. A place to be tired and energized; a place to be terrified and gleeful; a place to struggle and a place to find ease; a place to laugh.

Peter Levine, who developed Somatic Experiencing, says you can’t be curious and traumatized at the same time. And what is that if not the yogic principle of self-study (svadhyaya) combined with santosha (being with what is)? So for me, engaging curiosity on the mat has meant noticing what feels freeing and what feels constricting. The magic unfolds on my mat as I get curious about what feels right versus what is an imposed should – an external idea of how my body should be. Where is the prana (life energy) moving freely, where is it not, and how can I allow it to be free?

Every summer, in Chicago, I teach yoga to girls from West Africa who are in the US as part of Expanding Lives, an amazing leadership and empowerment program for young women. The girls have a blast on their yoga mats. They groan and exclaim when a pose is hard, they sigh and smile when it feels good, they bliss out when we’re “just breathing.” They have no sense that they should be serious and self-contained, so they just experience the practice.

When I started letting go of the shoulds on my mat, I began to also experience my practice as fun! Instead of struggling to make a difficult pose “right,” I decided to get curious and relax, and often the pose would feel better and a smile would spontaneously emerge. Eventually I chose to smile rather than struggle, and before I knew it I was laughing from the sheer joy of moving my body in space (or even just holding still).

Sometimes I laugh because it’s hard! It’s exhilarating to be able to hold a pose until my muscles shake and my heart beats fast – listening for when my body says “Ok my dear, that’s quite enough.” My heart delights at the lyricism of a slow vinyasa. It’s fun to fall out of a balance pose, giggling like I did as a kid. It’s exquisite sensory bliss to lay in savasana (the rest pose at the end of class) with yoni mudra (a hand position) over my navel and feel prana move.

The body is a sensory instrument. How much we miss when we don’t befriend it.

I do have to admit it’s a bit of a challenge in group classes – I have to giggle softly to myself or risk disturbing the class. I’m told I have a particular way of laughing, so busting out in class the way I do sometimes on my mat at home might not be appreciated. I’m not suggesting we turn group classes into a free-for-all, but this holiday season, I wish for you that your practice can be a “body holiday.”

Do you laugh on your yoga mat?

Namaste.

The Trauma Brain Project

I recently had the honor of being on a panel of body-centered therapists following the reading of a play by Dayle Ann Hunt titled The Trauma Brain Project.

This play is powerful, moving, intense. It is the story of a woman’s journey to heal from the repressed memories of early childhood sexual abuse. Dayle takes us on this journey of her own life experience as someone who was diagnosed with Epilepsy as a child, who was also experiencing paralyzing migraines, unexplained nausea, psoriasis, sinus growths and a string of inexplicable conditions that followed her throughout her life; all of which led her (in her 50s) to shadowed memories of what had happened and to eventual healing with somatic therapy.

The cast is amazing. The direction is expert. We the audience were riveted for the duration of the piece.

This play is a must-see for anyone who works with diagnosing illness. Dayle Ann is passionate about medical professionals, therapists, and trauma survivors knowing that their symptoms may be trauma-related. The body and mind do actually influence each other.

If you’re interested in this topic and have any ideas on how this play can be more widely disseminated, please contact D
ayle Ann at www.thetraumabrainproject.com

After the play I led the audience through a few basic exercises to help with regulation since watching anything traumatic can have an impact on our bodies. And it struck home to me again tonight that we are being inundated daily with news of traumatic events. This doesn’t mean we are all traumatized by this, but we are more than likely affected. So I thought I’d quickly share one of the techniques that I shared with the audience in the hopes that you might be able to use it in your day-to-day. It’s called 3-2-1

Look around and notice and briefly describe (e.g. “orange mouse pad”) three (3) things you see
Now listen and name two (2) sounds you hear
And now notice one (1) thing you’re feeling with your sense of touch.

How are you feeling now? You can repeat that sequence one more time if you’re feeling a little more focused or settled than you were before you started.

Namaste.

We already have Peace on Earth

In my yoga classes and with therapy clients and meditation students, I often lead a mindfulness exercise where we notice discomfort or tension in the body and then also notice where there is ease, relaxation or comfort. It usually comes as a surprise that both tension and ease can exist in the body at the same time – what you experience is determined by where you place your focus. This works the same with emotions – we can have multiple seemingly opposite and often conflicting emotions happening at the same time. What you experience is determined by where you choose to focus.

This all might come as news to some of us. Yes, we have multiple emotions and sensory experiences happening at once, but we usually only focus on one – and usually it’s the more challenging or unpleasant one. The idea that I could change my experience based on what I focus on actually irritated me when I first heard it because it seemed to be saying that I should ignore the feelings I was having. Actually, rather than ignoring what you’re feeling, the ability to notice what else you’re feeling can open up a wider range of experiences and possibilities. The more we notice, the more the experience expands. For example, noticing that there is also comfort or ease in the body often has the effect of alleviating some of the tension!

I led this exercise for a group yesterday, and then this morning in my meditation I had a thought: Maybe what we need to do is not keep working for Peace on Earth as some future ideal that seems only vaguely possible. Maybe what we actually need to do is to open to the Peace that is actually already on Earth. Noticing the softness of your breath, the gentleness of the wind, the smile and coos of a baby, the stillness or soft movement of the lake, the softness of a loved-one’s embrace, the gentle falling of the snow or grass swaying in the breeze, the moments of quiet. Accessing the feeling of peace in your body – the felt experience of peace – you can perhaps also begin to experience this even in the midst of chaos. You can begin to notice the peace of the Earth underneath us and the peace in the air all around us – even when there is also anxiety and hurry and fear. The more we can notice the Peace that is already here, the more it can expand.

This holiday season, may you experience the Peace that is already here on Earth.

Namste!

Women’s Pelvic Health: If it’s in your body, it’s not “all in your head”

Warning: This post contains discussions of “girl stuff.” You’ve been warned!

I was teaching a Yoga for Women’s Pelvic Health workshop this weekend and that always gets me on my soap-box. One of the things pelvic health educators encourage women to do is talk to each other about their pelvic health issues. So now I’m bringing the soap box to this blog! Self-disclosure is always a little risky, but I think it’s worth it if I can help just one person to realize she’s not alone. There’s so much suffering we deal with silently & alone as women that doesn’t need to be.

About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with a pelvic pain disorder. I got lucky because my nurse practitioner at the time was up to date on her female pelvic health and diagnosed me right away. That was as far as it went, however, because there was no known cause, no treatment, no cure. I say that I got lucky because many women with pelvic disorders spend a lot of time going from doctor to doctor being told “It’s all in your head” as if mental/emotional issues that may in fact be affecting their physiology aren’t “real.” The fallout of that attitude is that sometimes these issues, which can be contributing factors in pelvic pain, are rejected in favor of finding a “valid” physiological cause.

The ancient yogis knew that the mind and body aren’t separate. It’s not likely that you’ve taken your body anywhere recently and left your mind behind. (Okay, I know some people will try to argue that point!). It’s often stated in body-centered psychotherapy circles that “every thought has a corresponding sensation.” I was one of the speakers at a recent seminar on Pelvic & Abdominal Health and Trauma sponsored by Rush University Medical Center’s Program for Abdominal and Pelvic Health. It was thrilling to hear physicians acknowledge the ways traumatic life experiences can affect the body and advocate for a multi-modal approach to pelvic healthcare that includes addressing psychological factors. Times are a-changin’!

From the yogic perspective, the first chakra at the base of the pelvis develops during the 1^st year of life, and affects our sense of safety and our ability to really be present in the world. The second chakra at the pubic bone develops between 6 -18months and affects creativity and sexuality. The 3^rd chakra at the solar plexus develops between 18 months and 4 years and affects our self-esteem & sense of our own power. In a culture where women are objectified, sexualized, shamed and encouraged to be less than we are, is it surprising that we might experience dysfunction in these areas? According to oneinfour.com, 1 in 4 college women report experiencing some kind of sexual assault since age 14. So that number doesn’t includes girls assaulted/abused before age 14. According to webmd, “Doctors don’t really understand all the things that can cause chronic pelvic pain. So sometimes, even with a lot of testing, the cause remains a mystery.” Hmmm.

Many women are hypertonic in the pelvic floor – muscles gripping too tightly. I call it “holding on for dear life.” This could happen as the result of sexual trauma but not necessarily so. Bodies develop habits because they seem to work. Tightening the pelvic floor may give a sense of control or safety that works for the short term but becomes problematic over the long term. Some women are hypotonic – not enough strength in the muscles at the base of the body. Usually there is a lack of awareness and either state represents a weak base of support. Strengthening, stretching & relaxing the muscles of the pelvis (including the “core” transversus abdominis muscles and the pelvic floor muscles) can have a definite impact on one’s ability to feel grounded, optimistic, creative and confident.

There’s a fabulous book called The V Book that is subtitled “Your private parts shouldn’t be private to you.” We could take some of the mystery out of our own pelvic health as women just by becoming more aware. There’s another great book called “The Female Pelvis” that gives lots of exercises for developing awareness.

Overcoming vulvodynia and dealing with issues during pregnancy & delivery through mindfulness, yoga and physical therapy helped me realize that I’m one of those hypertonic folks. Somewhere in life my body figured out that when the going gets tough it’s time to hold on for dear life. Now that I’m aware of the habit, I can consciously relax muscles that shouldn’t be chronically tense. Is that “all in my head?” Um… No. It’s definitely in my body too. Mind/body connection? I’d say so.

For more information on women’s pelvic health check out: Women’s Health Foundation, Rush University Program for Abdominal and Pelvic Health

For more information on yoga for pelvic health check out: Leslie Howard

For female-centered affordable gynecological & mental health care check out: Chicago Women’s Health Center